The Buddha is a teacher of love. True love, love for Mother Earth, should be true love. If it is true love, it can bring a lot of happiness to you and to Mother Earth. Romantic love, if it is true love, it can also bring a lot of happiness.
However, if it is not true love, it will make you suffer and make the other person suffer as well. In the teaching of the Buddha, true love needs four elements.
Loving Kindness (Maitri): This is the capacity to offer happiness. If you cannot offer happiness, it’s not true love. In romantic love, if you are not able to make the other person happy, that’s not true love. You should train yourself to offer happiness to yourself and to your partner. Without this, both will suffer.
Compassion (Karuna): This is the energy that can help remove suffering and transform the suffering in you and in the other person. If you cannot transform and take care of the suffering in yourself and others, that is not true love. Therefore, compassion should be cultivated by both you and your partner.
Joy (Mudita): The important thing is whether it is true love or not. If by loving, you make the other person cry all the time and you cry all the time, that’s not true love.
Inclusiveness (Upeksha): This means that you do not exclude. Their suffering is your suffering. Their happiness is your happiness. There is no individual suffering and happiness anymore. There is no separation, no frontier between you and the other person. You cannot say, “That’s your problem.” Your problem is my problem. My suffering is your suffering.
If romantic love has these four elements, it can bring a lot of happiness. The Buddha never said negative things about true love. If you are successful in cultivating these elements, your love will be all-embracing. The other person is no longer the only object of your love because your love continues to grow and will embrace all of us. Happiness becomes limitless. This is the love of the Buddha, Mahakaruna, Mahamaitri. If it is true love, it will continue to grow and include more and more, not only humans but also animals, vegetables, and minerals. This is Great love.